zaterdag 18 december 2010

Dark Star Prologue; before the beginning


Prologue; before the beginning


Mrs. Snape of Spinner's End was looking worried outside the window. Her black eyes reflected in the on coming street lights. She stood on the tips of her toes, seeing she wasn't very tall. Her thin hands and long fingers brushed her black hair out of her heart-shaped face. She had a sweet small nose and fair skin. But further she looked as if something was bothering her very much. It was getting late and her husband, Mr. Snape, was arriving late from his work. Nervous as she was, she wicked and flicked a small, thin wooden stick. This was not an ordinary wooden stick. This was a magic wand. As Mrs. Snape was not an ordinary woman but a witch. She looked outside again and saw headlights coming on the entering of the street. Mrs. Snape's breathing sped up. Her husband was home, at last. She flicked her wand and it left the entire house spotless, before putting it away. Her husband was what she called a muggle. Someone with not a drop of magical blood in his or her veins.


The front door creaked open and was closed again with a very loud Bang! as a tall man stepped into the living room. He had a sallow skin and short black hair with grey at the roots. And enormous long hooked nose and baby blue eyes set above it.
Eileen” set Mr. Snape to his wife.
Mrs. Snape could smell an air of strong alcohol and cigarettes.
Eileen, what have you been doing today?” Mr. Snape asked his wife in a defensive tone, as if he was being attacked by his wife.
Cleaning.” Mrs. Snape replied, but her voice had an screechy sound to it.
How nice.” Mr. Snape said with a bored tone to his voice.
When's diners ready?” asked Mr. Snape while taking the news paper in his hands.
20 minutes my way. One hour, your way.” Mrs. Snape answered her husband.
Good.” Mr. Snape said while walking towards the stairs, to read his news paper in their bedroom, as he always did.
I'll see you in an hour then.”
Mrs. Snape stared angry at he back of the retreating form of her husband. She cleared her mind and sighed as she walked away to the kitchen to get started on diner. She passed a mirror and absent mindedly petted her beach ball sized belly. Eileen Snape was pregnant with her first child.


She let her mind wander freely while chopping up ingredients, not bothering to use a knife but waving her wand back and forward. Asking herself why she married Tobias, before she told him she was a witch. He let slip, several times a week, that he hated magic and everything that was just the least bit suspicious. He had forbidden his wife to preform magic at any time or anywhere. But ever since she got pregnant he had to give in to the hormones raging trough her body. So, after hours and days of fighting with each other, Mr. Snape told his wife she was aloud to use magic when he was away. However, when Tobias Snape returned home from work or the pub she was to get rid of her wand immediately. And it would be best if there was nothing magical around. Not for Eileen, not for Tobias and not for their unborn child. Though she had given it thought to leave Tobias, there where two reasons that she stayed. The first was that she had no family and no money to go anywhere. She also was seven months pregnant. And second, she loved Tobias with her entire heart.


From the diary of Eileen Snape – Prince.

January 1st; Happy New Year. My contractions are getting worse, even out of control I would say. Tobias is scared of the timing, he does not want to drive to the hospital at night, when he has been drinking. He also does not know what to do when the baby comes sooner then when he's not home.

January 4th; Tobias took a week of work, to stay here and clean the house as I have gotten this big I can barely leave the bed. He told me he was concerned about money.

January 9th; I just gave birth to a baby boy. We have decided to call him Severus. Tobias seems happy, but I’m not sure what he will do if he finds out that Severus might be a wizard.

January 30th; I got into a row with Tobias, because I got an owl from an old school friend whom heard about me getting a baby. The package contained baby clothing and a request for pictures. Tobias hit me when he found out and then left for the pub, to go and drink again.

February 8th; Severus just made a chair levitate while I was changing his clothes. Good thing Tobias was not here.

February 19th; Tobias got fired. Hell broke loose as he raged on and on about it. Severus cried all day long. There was no silencing that boy.

March 11th; Tobias found a new job, at the post office. He also found out about Severus' magical gifts.

April 6th; Things are well. Still not much money. Tobias asked me if I could not produce money, by magic. I explained the magical rules. He did not like that very much.

On a drowsy raining morning in September Mrs. Snape sat at the breakfast table – waiting for her husband, Mr. Snape, to finish his breakfast. Mr. Snape noticed and put down his fork and looked at his wife in a funny way.
Yes?” He said – in a slightly curious tone.
Isn't breakfast good?” Mrs. Snape asked back in return.
I guess it's okay.”
Good.”
What is on your mind?” Mr. Snape asked raising his eyebrow.
Well,” she said, weighing the words in her mind.
What?” Mr. Snape said, anger the base emotion in his tone.
We, we, are having another baby. I'm pregnant again.”
Mr. Snape his mouth fell open and he rose from his chair and flying with arms open to his wife. After a long minute Mr. Snape went back to his chair and took another bite of his eggs.
I just hope that this child will not become a freak, like you and Severus.” after he said this, he stood up again and left for work.

From the diary of Eileen Snape – Prince.

October 31th; I've been to the hospital, there seems to be something wrong with the baby. We had no idea what.

November 11st; I've been having nightmare's and I seem to have a craving for sweets. The baby moved for the firs time. 3 months pregnant.

December 25th; I wanted to buy Severus a nice gift, but money is low. Well he is to young to remember anyway. Merry Christmas.

January 18th; Everything is fine with the baby again. I'm getting very big.

March 4th; I asked my neighbours to watch Severus when we need to go to the hospital.

March 21th; I was brewing a potion. But then something was very odd about it. A few drops splashed over my body.

May 4th; Getting ready to give birth – days are dragging.

May 8th; I finally gave birth. And guess what, it's a girl. Tobias insisted to name her Angel and I agreed. She has his eyes. Baby blue.




vrijdag 1 oktober 2010

Autumn - do I need to say more.

All right, so today, for me, is the beginning of Autumn. 1st of October. I havn't posted my feelings and thoughts here. But I did wrote something, somewhere else. And decided to place it here.

It's called Life as we know it, and here it is.

Ever wonder.. what will happen to us if life as we know it ends. I know the awnser. But are you willing to listen to my adivce? Cannot tell you the cost of my advice. But if you are interested I recon you listen to the following. Everything you know is about to change. I have experience in this department of thought. But have you? Lets discusse the price before I awnser all your questions. No i'm not talking about money. Money will not gain you anything. Money will not teach you lessons you need to learn in life in order to get things straight. Money will only get you greedy. Once you have more money then normal, you will feel a two desires. The spending desire, you can buy stuff you don't need and after a few days or weeks it's worthless and you'll regret it. Then kicks in greed, it rips your soul apart because the moneystack in the back of your jeans is shortening. You will do anything for money. Maybe even steel for money. We do not want that. Allright - how about uhm, let's see here. I know.. how about love. But love cannot be honest if used as method of payment so we'll leave that one out to. Your life is worthless to me because I allready have one. I also think you are better having your own life. 

You know writing this makes me feel generous so I'll let you off with a bargin. Use this advice to teach others who need it. 

What will we do when life as we know it changes or even ends. We adept a different life or lifestyle. One we may not like as much as the old one, but one that will get us trough. Even so, it will be hard on you. It was on me. As long as you have the will to fight you'll find a way. I know I did. Even without him. I fought and I changed my life; again. This is what we do everytime something happends that changes the way we have lived our lifes for so long. Someone new comes along, a new love, a child or a pet. Something goes; a car, a bike, a house or even a friend. Something dies; a pet, a neighbour, a lover, a family-member or a friend. These things take time to adjust to. And life changes. That is hard. Especialy the bad things are harder then the good things. But it are those things that make us strong. And it is okay to feel depressed and cry for a while. Aslong as you can raise your head and be a better person. If you keep saying no-one loves me... did you look in the mirror? If you love yourself others will love you to. Not everything goes as you plan it. But take your time to learn from them. Do things slowly and watch movies all day long for a change. Make yourself feel better. You will see that even then, when life changes as you knew it. You will come out a stronger person. 

Please remember my terms of payment and use this to make people who need it feel better. Feel better yourself and help others feel better so that they can feel better and you will see that when life changes, it's not the end of the world. 

Take care, be kind and love yourself. 

Love,


Aledawn 

zondag 25 juli 2010

the night sky - the most beautiful thing out there

Some people would say that the night sky is pretty. Some people would not know because they never seen the night sky in it most beautiful glory. I did, every time I got the chance - I would go out and be lost in the midnight blue and the lights of the stars and the moon. Just a few seconds ago I was outside, smoking my cigarette. I know that smoking is bad for you. I know that it will kill you. But i'm not discussing the fact that I smoke. I was outside, thinking that the sky was pretty for the time of year. Middle of the summer. It felt like early autumn/fall or even Midwinter. Mostly summers are warmer. It was chilly but not cold.

And I used to remember the thing that made me most happy. The fact that I was 14 years old, having my first "job" as a night-time babysitter. Walking outside at 9.30, which at that time was late for me. I walked to the nearest bench - my parents always thought that I was done by 10 or 10.15 and they never made a big deal out of it. The family I used to babysit was across the street but just far enough so my parents did not see me sneak out. I used to walk to the back side every time I got back. But still not the point.

When I sat on that bench, I thought of Love and Life and the suffering a human is in before finding their happily ever after. I had my share of myserie and suffering. I used to think that love was something beautiful, more prudent then anything else. That the lover that was meant for you and only for you could enjoy everything that you would. Bring you happiness everytime you were near your significant other. But soon enough I found out that Love was just survival. Love was nothing more then holding on for dear life and hoping it would be over soon. That the fairytale version of love would jump out of the giftbox and scream; " "Suprise" . But I am affraid that does not happen. Love in the first fase is free, exciting and happy. But after a while the nightmare begins. Fights start and you end up alone and heart-broken. And for all those who did find their fairytale love. Please share your secret.

But the sky of autumn reminds me of the feeling I had when I thought true love was real and as happy as in fairytales. 7 years later I come to think that it might all have been a dream but every time I see the night sky it reminds me that all the things in the world seem impossible but yet, everything is possible.

So every now and again I exile myself to a moment of myserie and will go and stare at the night sky and remember the love I felt - the questions I had. The hope that still is here inside the deepest darkest hole in my soul.

I think i'll go back soon.. Just to remember.


Love,

Aledawn

maandag 19 juli 2010

Snowflake Road! Small Poem

On the snowflake road it happend,
It hurt like hell and all it's demons.
On the snowflake road it happend,
And every second became silent.


On the snowflake road it happend,
He came down on me - screaming.
On the snowflake road it happend,
He swore he would kill me.


On the snowflake road it happend,
He drew his knife in fierce anger.
On the snowflake road it happend,
a stab, and then he died.


On the snowflake road it happend,
Though there is no proof.
On the snowflake road it happend,
Whether I will see him again - No!


On the snowflake road it happend,
I survied, and he gave his life.
On the snowflake road it happend,
And then it started to rain.

dinsdag 22 juni 2010

How to decide what to put on your iPod

I cannot decide what the hell I should place on my iPod. I have like 12 gb of music on my laptop and just an 8 gb iPod. So it's pretty anoying to decide what to put on and what to leave of. Darn..

Well i'll figure it out.

bye for now,

Aledawn

zondag 20 juni 2010

Sunday - boring sunday

So today is a sunday. I disliked sundays allot. But at this point I can see the pro's of a quite sunday. All the stores are closed here at this point and there is nothing much to do then watch some television or read a good book. Cleaning the house (well that might me forced) and making a good diner. Also, today is fathersday. But I visited my dad yesterday. All and all this will be a silent good sunday. The first sunday I am totally alone (exept the dog) which is nice. And i'm currently going to listen to the 9th audiobook of the Sookie Stackhouse novels. "Dead and Gone" thought i'd give it some credit. Charlaine, may you ever read this, good work girl! I have enjoyed every Sookie novel there is (Well exept the 9th and 10th and the ones that have not been published jet. Because I did not read/listen to it yet.) This includeds my message for my boring sunday.

Mood: Happy, Broken, Bored
Currentaudiobook: Sookie Stackhouse Novels - Dead and Gone by Charlaine Harris.


Bye - for now,

Aledawn

p.s.

For all the fathers out there who where good for their children;

Happy Fathersday - You decerive one.

vrijdag 18 juni 2010

Ghost of my soul - Banner for poetry

Banner for poems


So this is something new I was working on as a matter of 'fact'. This is the banner of the un-offical unreleased poetrybundle I am currently working on. It will contain a number of poems wrote by me. Maybe I will decide to release them.. If any publisher is interested. That is why I will not post any content on here for a while. So everyone who is curious to it will have to wait.


Bye for now,

Aledawn


Happiness and Loneliness.

So - I passed the last test for my school. This means I will get my Diploma on the 6th of july. So in that roll of thought I am really happy. But on the other roll of thoughts i'm quite un-happy, not for any mortal reason. I have everything I want. But still I feel like i'm being sucked up by loneliness and depression. But nothing much I can do.

I was thinking about writing a new story again, but the inspiration is held dry. So no new stories for me.

Almost forgot; I bought a few new books on Ebay and the first season of True Blood on DVD. Still waiting for three books and the DVD. Allready got five of them. And I recieved the Decended EP. It sounds great.

Current mood: Happy but Lonely
Current Audiobook: All Together Dead - Sookie Stackhouse by Charlaine Harris.

Bye - for now!

vrijdag 11 juni 2010

Another day, little news..

So, here I am again.. what to do, what to do.. I have gotton my new dvd; Xombie: Dead on Arrival. I'm really happy to have gotten it. Still need to pay my thanks to the person I bought it from of E-bay.

And Decended sended me an e-mail, the EP I orderd has been sent in the mail yesterday. Hope to recieve it soon.

But I cannot sleep at this moment. Just drunk a glass of white wine and going to bed in a few minutes. Going to the doc. tomorrow.

Still have no idea what to get my mother, who´s birthday takes place on the 15th of june.

And this would be all, at this point.

Love,

Aledawn

woensdag 9 juni 2010

The vote, the birthday and the silly girl that feels alone.

So today, the 9th of june of the year 2010, we have elections. Just the boring stuff, and seeing I don't trust any politician, I have a feeling things can run out very nasty for us. But that doesn't matter at this point. I'm going out for a vote as soon as I get out of my work/work-experience thingy.

Further more, my "Sister-in-law" (I'm not married jet, so the sister of my boyfriend if you please.)Is celebrating her 16th birthday and I can't come to see her today. But I will soon - don't think you will ever read this but, Happy Birthday!

And then to the last of the headlines in my boring life - I feel quite alone the last few days. I have gotten no idea where it came from. Seeing how happy I should be, having a nice family, loving boyfriend, super sweet dog and nice co-workers. But I feel so left alone since a few days, that it even got me to be depressed again. Waking me up in the middle of the night, crying my eyes dry, falling a sleep again (Oversleeping the last 2 days) and waking up again, feeling like I died and was grieving over that. Maybe something to talk about with the psych. The only one that does not think i'm totally crazy, just broken. But this will sound like something stupid to others, who do think i'm crazy. But I just don't care. But to supress the lonleyness I am walking around with my iPod on my head for almost the entire time. (Exept now, cause i'm at work.) But I enjoy my audiobooks again so that's nice.

Well i'll type more soon.

Love,

Aledawn

Currentstats:

Mood:
Lonley


Audiobook:
Sookie Stackhouse 2: Living Dead In Dallas